Pink
by Apostasy
Summary: AU oneshotsongfic. What would happen if Voldemort took a chug of the Weasley's musical concoction?


Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the books, and world, of Harry Potter nor do I own Aerosmith or the song/lyrics "Pink".

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"Somebody go get me another beer!" Voldemort suddenly yelled out. "Or else I'll Crucio all of your worthless hides." He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair as he watched the supposed 'vicious' fight and awaited his beer.

A woman in black robes stood rigid at his left. He looked over her shape and could not help but think of what could happen tonight.

"Master," Lord Voldemort was rudely yanked from his daydreaming and focused on a young Death Eater holding forth a bottle of W3A.

"Oh, yes," snatching the bottle of from the boys hands the most feared dark wizard of the time thought, 'Must be a new brand," before he took a few quick swigs and resettled his eyes in their former position.

After another guzzle or two the dual ended and Voldemort rose to say a word. Looking at all of the Death Eaters in the hall Lord Voldemort took a final mouthful before saying, "I would like to congratulate the winner," he paused as everyone clapped, "for a fine battle and your prize shall be," he paused again for a more dramatic effect while is eyes took on a glazed look, "_pink_-"

Everyone looked confused as they glanced from their master to the victor.

"-_it's my new obsession_." He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named began singing. "_Pink it's not even a question_."

Walking towards his left he sang, "_Pink, on the lips of your lover_." With a wand in hand the most feared wizard of the age magically applied pink lipstick on the woman in front of him. "_'Cause pink is the love you discover_."

The woman quizzically looked at her Master and was about to ask him what was wrong when he leaned forward and sang quietly in her ear. "_Pink, as the bing on your cherry. Pink, 'cause you are so very_."

Leaning back Lord Voldemort belted out, "_Pink, it's the color of passion, 'cause today_," he pointed his wand towards the ceiling as he carried on with, "_it just goes with the fashiooooOOON_!" As the last word was sung, Voldemort brought his wand down and with a crack, filling the entire room with a pink mist before it billowed away leaving every set of robes a bright, tickle-me pink.

"_Pink it was love a first sight_." Voldemort looked at the woman next to him. "_Pink when I turn of the light_." He began sauntering toward the backpedaling woman. "_Pink gets me high as a kite_," Lord Voldemort whipped his head from side to side as he pushed his rib cage out the other way and continued with, "_and I think everything is going to be all right no matter what we do_…."

By now the woman was wide eyed and backed up against a wall while the other Death Eaters crept towards their Master, some looking repulsively at their newly acquired robes.

"_Tonight you_," Voldemort pointed a pale finger at the woman, "_you could be my flamingo_." Waving his wand in the general direction of the creeping Death Eaters, Voldemort transfigured a handful of them into flamingos.

"'_Cause pink is the new kind of lingo, pink, like a deco umbrella_." Voldemort waved his wand creating a pink umbrella in his left hand. He opened it so that it was between him and the woman before him, as if she would not be able to hear him, while he turned his heads towards the now motionless Death Eaters, "_its kink, but you don't ever tell her!_"

Tossing the umbrella away Voldemort continued, "_I want to be your lover_," then twirling his wand in circles he sang, "_I want to wrap you in rubber_." Finishing the spell the woman's pink robes transformed into a tight, pink, rubber suit.

As He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named paused he transfigured his throne into a bed and drew the woman close to him with one arm before apparating onto the mattress. "_As pink as the sheets that we lay on_," Voldemort moving his arms up and down as if flapping them. "_Pink it's my favorite crayon_," flicking his wand once again he transformed the bed frame into giant pink crayons, "_yeeeeaaaaAAAAH!_"

Leaping from the bed Voldemort began skipping across the hall as he sung, "_Pink, it was love at first sight! Pink when I turn off the light!_" Swiping his wand before him, Lord Voldemort made all of the torches illuminate the room with a pink glow.

Stopping in front of a petrified Death Eater, Voldemort wagged his finger in the man's face as he sang, "_Pink, it's like red but not quite!_" Then stretching his arms to either side of him, the dark wizard started twirling with his head tilted back while he finished with, "_And I think everything is going to be alright no matter what we do toniiiiiIIIIIII_-" Voldemort's song was ground to a halt.

As Lord Voldemort's head returned to its upright position and his arms descended to his side, he gazed at one of the Death Eater's pink robes before yelling, "Crucio! Crucio! Crucio, crucio, crucio!"

The Death Eaters broke into a chaotic dash for the exit as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named screamed, "And what's – crucio - with all – crucio - the flamingos?!"

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A/N: It's pretty short, not even a thousand words, but fun to write. Sorry it has taken me so long to post a new fic but college has caught up with me. As always, if anything is incorrect with the lyrics let me know and if you have then time tell me what you thought of this one by all means go ahead.


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